There is more to sex than having an
orgasm. There is also the beginning, the middle, and that which leads up to the
end. If you skip to the end, then you are missing the whole sexual experience.
Maybe that is okay with you because you are a slam, bam, thank you man or mam
kind of person. However, by taking the time to enhance your awareness of your
partner and yourself, the experience can be heightened to the next level of
pleasure. Sexual intimacy has a purpose. It is to strengthen the bond between
couples. Therefore, your ultimate goal should be to satisfy your partner. In
the proceeding paragraphs, I will go over some simple steps that can be taken
prior to intercourse that will enhance a couple’s sex life.
Prior to
beginning, it is important to have a conversation with your mate. Explain what
it is you would like and why. Then, give him or her the chance to express his
or her feelings on the matter. Figure out what the ground rules will be. For
example, maybe one person is willing to allow a massage but the sheets need to
cover him or her or perhaps one person is willing to allow oral sex as long as
he or she proceeds slow. Sometimes trying new things can make a person feel
uncomfortable. Therefore, it might be necessary to gradually work towards what
it is you would like to accomplish.
Learning to
explore your partner’s body takes time. As such, it is important to set a time
and date to try this. Make sure that you will not be interrupted during this
time. Figure out ahead of time what you will need for this romantic date and go
shopping. If it is not on your list, I would recommend picking up some massage
oil and lubricant. Massage oil is different from lotion. It was designed to be
rubbed on the body continuously. It can be purchased at stores like Bath
On the day of your
date, create a romantic mood. Dim the lights so it is not too bright or light a
few candles. Candles are nice because of the soft glow that emanates off of the
naked body. Play music if that makes you feel more relaxed. Try not to pick
anything that will stimulate you into moving too fast. Fold down any warm
blankets. Remember to place something to drink near the bed.
It is time to
begin. The goal is to get through this without having an orgasm. Whoever is
capable of expressing his or her self and his or her sexual desires should go
first. Try to use as many of your senses (taste, touch, sight, sound, and
smell) as you can. Have your partner sit next to you or lie down. Use your lips
to communicate to them without speaking. Gently kiss his or her neck as you
caress his or her naked body with your hands. Pay attention to the sounds,
moans, and movements your partner makes. What is arousing him or her? When you
are finished kissing his or her body, take out the massage oil. Place a small
amount in your hands. Rub your hands together and place them on your partner.
Massage your partner. As you massage your partner, take notice of his or her
body. Do they have any marks, scars, or bruises? Can you tell that he or she is
relaxed? After you are done, allow your partner to repeat this process with him
or her exploring your body.
It
is probably safe to say that the both of you are aroused. We have discussed the
beginning and middle process to making love. To complete the process, it is
time for the grand finale or climax. This is where penetration is allowed. If
you feel that you need, or want, to learn about different positions to making
love do some research on Kama Sutra. Along with instructions the book will have
pictures. Have you learned that the art to making love is in realizing that
your purpose is to satisfy your partner, and vice versa? While this exploration
takes place the both of you will grow in your awareness and understanding of
your bodies.
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